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Archive for February, 2017

Should we remember the deceased on their Birth Day or their Death Day?  Maybe both days?  If the reader looks at the obits in the newspaper, there are many memorials on the loved one’s Death Day.  Less memorials for their Birth Day.  Is it better, or easier, to remember one or the other?

For myself, I like to focus on the Birth Day.  The day my loved one was born, came into the world, added to the goings on, even if it was only for a short time.  My dear, dear triplet friend died one week before her 60th Birth Day even though she fought hard to stay longer.  I don’t want to remember her struggles, pain, diagnosis, wasting away, so focusing and celebrating her life on her Birth Day is an easy decision.  I remember our fun, books we read and shared, long contemplations of how to improve the world and teach everyone to get along.  Given enough time, I know we would have solved many of the world’s problems.  LOL  She was funny, intelligent, honest, saw the bright side and a good and true friend.  I miss her frequently, but not on her Birth Day when I celebrate again with her, usually in my head.  Because of her Birth Day, we eventually became friends for over 38 years.  Awesome sauce!

There is no right or wrong day to remember those who should have been able to stay longer.  As long as you feel good about your choice, then that is day that it is best to remember.   We can’t go wrong when we remember our loved ones, maybe on any day of the year.

Best wishes to you and I am so sorry for your loss(es).

 

 

 

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Question:

Hi there, I would just like to connect with twinless people.  I lost my other half, my sister, past year and the sadness I feel is overwhelming me.  I struggle every day.    

Kind regards,  E.

Response:  Hi E.,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your sister.  There is a group in the United States called Twinless Twins and they can be reached at www.twinlesstwins.org   They have chapters all over the US and an annual convention.  I am sure they will be able to support you.

Please also consider seeing a bereavement counsellor who has experience with the unique needs of twinless twins.   As well, there are several books on the subject which you might find helpful.   Joan Woodward wrote “The Lone Twin” and  Betty Jean Case wrote “Living Without my Twin.”

Enclosing Peace and Comfort,                                                                                                               Lynda

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