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Archive for March, 2017

Men grieve too when their baby(ies) die.  They just do it differently from women.  Here are a few books I found specially for men.  I am so sorry for your loss.

Men & Grief:  A Guide for Men Surviving the Death of a Love One, by Carol Staudacher, New Harbinger Publications

When Men Grieve:  Why Men Grive Differently & How You Can Help, by Elizabeth Levang, Fairview Press

Getting Back to Life When Grief Won’t Heal, by Phyllis Kosminsky, McGraw Hill

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When grieving the loss of a baby or babies, maybe reading is the last thing we feel like doing.  In time, when things feel a little different, it may be helpful to have some titles to search out for comfort and connection.  Here are some suggestions for your consideration when you have the need.  I am so sorry for your loss:

Life Touches Life:  A Mother’s Story of Stillbirth and Healing, by Lorraine Ash, Newsage Press

Life After Loss, by Bob Deits, Fisher Books

Forever Our Angels, by Hannah Stone, www.lulu.com

Remembering Our Angels: Personal Stories of Healing from a Pregnancy Loss, by Hannah Stone, http://www.lulu.com

When a Baby Dies: A Handbook for Healing and Helping, by Rana K. Limbo & Sara Rich Wheeler, RTS Bereavement Services

Miscarriage, Women Sharing from the Heart, by Marie Allen & Shelly Marks, John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby, by Deborah L. Davis, Fulcrum Publishing

The Worst Loss:  How Families Heal from the Death of a Child, by Barbara D. Rosof, Henry Holt & Co.

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While there is a lot of literature available to support bereaved parents, there is less so for the survivors of multiple-birth and/or who lose their co-multiple later in life.  Multiples come into the world at the same time, but there is no guarantee they will leave it at the same time. What challenges do survivors face?  Below I have shared some of the existing books which I think are very supportive.  If I have missed any that you think should be added to this list, please let me know.

Twin Loss: A Book for Survivor Twins, by Raymond William Brandt.  Dr. Brandt lost his twin brother when they were 20 years old.  Dr. Brandt began the American organization, Twinless Twins, to support surviving co-multiples, parents, grandparents, healthcare professionals, bereavement counsellors and anyone else needing to learn about the unique twin relationship and the challenges when one dies.  Twinless Twins can be reached at http://www.twinlesstwins.org

The End of The Twins:  A Memoir of Losing a Brother, by Saul Diskin.  Saul lost his twin brother to cancer later in their lives.

Who Moved the Sun?:  A Twin Remembers, by Ron McKenzie.  Ron lost his twin brother, Don when they were 62 years old.

The Lone Twin: Understanding Twin Bereavement and Loss, by Joan Woodward.  Joan lost her twin sister when they were three years old.  In this book, Joan explores not only what her loss means to her, but after working in the multiple-birth field for several years and learning about multiples’ connections, Joan prepared this important and eye-opening book.  This is a must-read book for understanding and comprehension of what it means to lose a co-multiple at any point in life and what the survivor has to face moving on alone.

Living Without Your Twin, by Betty Jean Case.  Betty is a twin, had twin brothers and twin grandchildren.  In this book, Betty explores loss of a twin through death, suicide, murder, adoption and estrangement.  She discusses what it means to lose a twin, separation and reuniting and its challenges.

The Survivor, by Lynne Schulz.  Lynne’s first book was The Diary.  Lynne had boy/girl twins and her daughter, Meghan, did not survive.  Lynne addresses the challenges of raising a survivor of multiple-birth plus some of the challenges that parents can expect to have to face as their survivor navigates their lives without their womb-mate.  Lynne also discusses the challenges for her, as a parent, of loving and bringing up her son while knowing there should have been two children throughout the same journey.

 

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Heartfelt…..

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”

— Anne Sullivan

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Question:

I lost my triplets at 23 weeks, two girls and one boy who lived 7 days.  I’m 40.   Is it possible to fall pregnant again with multiples?

Response:

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your wee babies.  I cannot imagine how it all must feel. It is possible to get pregnant again, but it cannot be predicted with any accuracy if the pregnancy would be with multiples.  Older woman do tend to “drop” more eggs in their cycles in their latter years as their bodies gear up for menopause, so it is possible but not definite.

I enclose peace, comfort and blessings,

Lynda

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Question:

My twin sister passed away 3 weeks ago and I am having such a hard time with her death. Can you suggest anything that may help me?  My heart is broken, I don’t want to do anything but stay at home.  I would appreciate any help you can give me.  Thanks!

Response:  

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  Of course you are having a hard time.  Your sister’s death was only 3 weeks ago.  We are not made to bounce right back in a short period after a loved one’s death.  Please don’t expect too much from yourself.  There is a group in the U.S. entitled Twinless Twins and you might find some solace in connecting with them. Once again, don’t expect to feel better immediately.  Be gentle with yourself, give yourself time and expect to have highs and lows as you try to come to terms with losing this special person in your life.  A grief counsellor who understands the unique twin bond may also be helpful.  Your doctor may be able to refer you to someone in your area.  Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss.

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