Archive for October, 2017

Question:    Hi I was so happy to come across your website and [am] hoping you might be able to help me. Yesterday my best friend have birth to her daughter, who sadly died after a few hours. I’m going to visit her this evening and I’m stuck in gift ideas. I would like to bring something for the baby, something that acknowledges the fact that she lived even if it was a short few hours. I also want to bring my friend a gift but don’t want to bring flowers as they too will die. Would you have any suggestions please?


Suggestions:  Hi Andrea,  I am so sorry to hear this news and how thoughtful that you want to focus on the baby as well as Mom.  

A couple of suggestions would be a piece of engraved jewellery with baby’s name and date of birth on.  There are beautiful and subtle pieces available so that Mom does not have to “explain” about the piece to strangers or friends, should she not wish to.  A bracelet, charm or necklace could be perfect.  Just Google Memorial jewellery and a bunch of them come up.

For the parents, make a donation to the hospital, a school library or other child-focused facility in the family’s name.  If you think that would work.

Obviously these will not be ready for you to take tonight, but you can make arrangements for them for another time.  Tonight taking love, support, comfort and tears or how about a baby blanket to wrap around the little one, will help.

Your friend is lucky to have such support and understanding from you.  The next few weeks and months will be hard for them.  Try not to forget to ask about the father too. Rather than “How are you doing?” think about “How is today going?”  Some days are better than others and sometimes today is all we can try to get through. Don’t be afraid to mention the baby in conversation or to say her name.  All of this will be welcome, not objectionable, to the parents.  Their child lived for real and now in spirit.  It is so great when someone else remembers.

Hugs and best wishes,


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