My Mother passed away on 28th June last at the age of 90 years, 8 months, 28 days. She lived a full and engaged life and even with that knowledge, the loss of such a significant person in once’s life can be difficult. I have found most of my friends, relatives, neighbours, peers to be kind, considerate, and upfront about acknowledging my loss and what that means. Nevertheless an odd few (of really close people) have “ignored” the loss even though I have been engaged and away from home (I live about 4 hours from my parents) for extended periods of time as their health declined. I have tired to be accepting of their decision not to say or acknowledge my loss but sometimes my resolve fails me and I just feel disappointed and let down. Why is an important death so difficult for some people close to you, to acknowledge? It only takes “I am sorry for your loss” to make all the difference for the bereaved person. The six words are not complicated, you would think would roll off the tongue and if uttered, not only does the speaker feel better (and more mature about stepping up to the plate?), but the so important to the bereaved. I have watched an extremely competent and capable person be immobilized and not able to offer any word(s) of comfort or recognition. I don’t feel angry but I do feel perplexed and somewhat trivialized. I don’t need a band or a note in the newspaper but I would like some eye contact, perhaps a hug, maybe a touch on the arm and some meaningful verbal recognition of my loss. We all live on the same planet and share the same hopes and dreams, so why stand apart? Why not build a bridge and let the other person know you care for them and what they are feeling at a dramatic junction in the time? It isn’t rocket science but a basic human need to be recognized from time to time, and to understand that others care for us and our experiences. I am so sorry for your loss and hope your memories will be will help get you through.
Archive for the ‘Meaningful Loss in Life’ Category
Posted in Meaningful Loss in Life, tagged acknowledging a loss, bereavement, important death, important loss, loss of a child, loss of a parent, meaningful loss, recognition of loss, supporting a bereaved person, what to say for a loss on July 14, 2014| Leave a Comment »