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You must do the thing you think you cannot do.     Eleanor Roosevelt

Learning to accept what was unthinkable changes you.   Jackie Kennedy

We cannot afford to forget any experience, not even the most painful.

 Dag Hamarshjold

 

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I am very excited to read about this is this morning’s news feed. The Dionne Quintuplets are the only recorded MONOZYGOTIC (Identical) quintuplets in the world. Unfortunately the story takes a down turn from that point as three levels of government stepped in and took the babies from their parents and other siblings, placed them in an observation building and displayed them to the public for the first nine years of their lives. “Quintland,” as the compound was called, became a huge money maker for the area as more than five million tourists viewed them through a one-way mirror.
The 5 young ladies were returned to their parents aged 9 and virtually were strangers to not only their parents, but their 8 other siblings as well due to their long, imposed separation from their family. The reunion did not go well at all and in the
late 1980s, the Canadian government compensated the surviving Quints for their pain and suffering as a result of the rupture caused by their forced removal from their family home. This was not one of Canada’s finer moments.
Both myself (www.jumelle.ca) and Multiple Births Canada (www.multiplebirthscanada.org) have been working for several decades to ensure that multiples in Canada and beyond are not exploited, forceably or needlessly removed from their families or separated from each other for adoption. We must learn from the mistakes of the past and ensure that our errors in judgement are not carried forward.
My heart feels good this morning as this tragedy of circumstances of birth is somewhat rectified, acknowledged and the Dionne Family fully recognized for the very special and unique family they are.

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A new children’s book has just been released and it focuses on sharing a death with young children, and what their feelings might involve as a result. Their feelings may be  very different than an adult’s might, for example. Another example is introducing children to the rituals of a funeral.
 
The book is called THE FUNERAL and was written by Matt James.

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Kim Weatherall owner of Beyond Your Office has profiled Lynda.  If you are interested in learning more, please look at the following Link.

http://www.beyondyouroffice.com/up-close-inspirational/lynda-p-haddon/

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Death leaves a heartache no one can heal.                                                                                  Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

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MBC recognizes anyone who has made a significant contribution to the world of multiples.  It could be someone in your local support Chapter, a doctor, nurse, lactation consultant, newspaper or magazine reporter, funeral director, photographer, charity, organization, magazine or someone who has a made a difference for you and your family in your multiple-birth journey.  You can nominate any one whom has influenced your life.

It’s really easy.  Here is their link, complete with a list of past winners.  Please let someone know how much you have appreciated their support.

http://multiplebirthscanada.org/index.php/about-us/making-a-difference/mada-2017

 

 

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In 2006 I gave birth to fraternal twin boys who were sadly stillborn. I was 34 weeks pregnant. They weighed 5 pounds 4 ounces and 6 pounds 3 ounces.  I am also the mother of 4 living sons.

In August the year before, I had [had]my tubes tied so we would not have anymore children. I started to get sick after the procedure and told the doctor. She said that I might have an infection from the procedure. I also complained of pain, so she sent me for a ultrasound cause she said I most likely had cysts on my ovaries. A week after the ultrasound was done I called to get the results and found out I was pregnant again and this time with twins. My husband and I needless to say were very surprised but extremely happy about the news as we thought we no longer could have children. My first question was if they were OK  because I had the surgery around the time they were conceived. The doctor did not check before I had the surgery to see if I was pregnant.

Everything was fine right up till the end. Two weeks before they passed away, I went to the hospital in extreme pain on the left side of my stomach. I was given Tylenol, hooked up to a fetal heart monitor and then sent home. I was told what ever happened inside my uterus my babies were tolerating it well and that was it. No further tests were done. The next day I saw my doctor and told her what happened. She said if it happened again to go back to the hospital and only to come back to see her in two weeks. I never got to see her again. A week and a half later I had a ultrasound that was booked weeks before anything went wrong. [At that time] I was told they were perfectly healthy little boys. I had noticed that the baby on the left’s heart rate was lower than it normally was and I asked why. She said it was because there was really no more room left to grow, he wasn’t active and probably sleeping at the moment. 

On the Tuesday after my ultrasound I went for a nap before my husband had to go to work. I woke up and started to get supper ready for my four boys. I cleaned and then received a phone call from my sister-in-law that she wanted to take my youngest son for the night. I got him ready. By the time I had a few moments to sit, I [realized] that I did not feel any movement since before I went for my nap. I went to get something to eat and drink because usually that would make them move. When that didn’t work I tried to move them myself and nothing happened. I called my husband at work and told him I was going to the hospital. I told him I would call him because he was not allowed to leave unless I was in labor as I already called him home many times that week. I went to the hospital and they told me that they had one baby’s heartbeat but the other baby was probably hiding so they were going to give me a ultrasound to see and hear them better. That was the moment my heart truly broke. The doctor on call told me that both boys were dead. They said that they picked up my heartbeat earlier.  I asked them to call my husband at work. They couldn’t tell him anything on the phone and just told him that he needed to come. He arrived almost a hour later cause he went home first to change because he thought I was in labor and he gets really dirty at his job. When he arrived I heard the nurse tell him in the hallway just outside my room. I remember feeling so numb, how could this be happening to us? 

My stay in the hospital was very emotionally straining because of rude comments I had to endure from medical staff (which I did make a formal complaint about). It was hard enough to deal with what I had to go through then I had to deal with what these (so called) medical professionals were saying to me.  EXAMPLE:  A lab technician said “You had a baby?” I said “Yes, I had twin boys” she asked “Where are your babies?” I said “They passed away.” She replied “Oh you’re the one they are talking about downstairs.  You don’t want any sick or mal-formed babies anyway.  It’s for the best they died.” My sons were not sick , they were not mal-formed. They were healthy little boys. There were other comments as well.

I was told that Lucas died first and he was the baby on the left, the side I  first had problems on, and the baby whose heart rate was lower than it normally was.  I have yet to receive the results of the autopsy report.  I was told by the doctor who delivered my sons that the test they received back showed no cause. I can’t deal with the fact I am being told I buried two healthy little boys. I delivered my boys by c-section and it was discovered later that I had an infection from the surgery.  L. was born at 2:16pm and weighed 5’4 lbs. R. was born at 2:17pm and weighed 6’3 lbs. I remember returning to my room it was 4:30pm. The nurse brought in my babies and placed them both in my arms. I remember thinking they just look like they were sleeping but I knew they would never wake up from this sleep. I kissed each of their little heads and told them I was sorry and that I loved them. The nurse came and took them to another room.  I later asked for them again because I wanted to hold them individually.

We had two services for them because we live so far away from home. We had a service where we live which was open casket and which was the choice of two of my older children. I’m glad we did that because I was feeling a bit better from the surgery than when I originally saw the babies and this time I got the chance to kiss them good-bye without feeling all groggy from pain meds. We had to transfer their bodies ourselves back home which was a hard, long drive (7 hours).  My aunts put together the service back home which was more than I ever expected. I hadn’t been home in 2 years and it was really something to see how many people cared. My boys were not planned but I wanted them more than anything in this world and as each day goes by, I miss more then I think my heart can handle at some times.

 

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