Posts Tagged ‘bereavement’

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.     Eleanor Roosevelt

Learning to accept what was unthinkable changes you.   Jackie Kennedy

We cannot afford to forget any experience, not even the most painful.

 Dag Hamarshjold



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Linda Leonard has created an amazing, comprehensive resource regarding multiple births in British Columbia, Canada 🇨🇦️ and beyond. This in depth brochure will be of interest to parents expecting twins or more, grandparents, healthcare professionals, researchers, grieving parents, and any one else with an interest in multiple births. Lots of information and resources re breastfeeding of multiples. I am so excited about this valuable brochure. Check it out here: https://nursing.ubc.ca/pdfs/twinstripletsandmore.pdf

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My Mother passed away on 28th June last at the age of 90 years, 8 months, 28 days.  She lived a full and engaged life and even with that knowledge, the loss of such a significant person in once’s life can be difficult.  I have found most of my friends, relatives, neighbours, peers to be kind, considerate, and upfront about acknowledging my loss and what that means.  Nevertheless an odd few (of really close people) have “ignored” the loss even though I have been engaged and away from home (I live about 4 hours from my parents) for extended periods of time as their health declined.  I have tired to be accepting of their decision not to say or acknowledge my loss but sometimes my resolve fails me and I just feel disappointed and let down.  Why is an important death so difficult for some people close to you, to acknowledge?  It only takes “I am sorry for your loss” to make all the difference for the bereaved person.  The six words are not complicated, you would think would roll off the tongue and if uttered, not only does the speaker feel better (and more mature about stepping up to the plate?), but the so important to the bereaved.  I have watched an extremely competent and capable person be immobilized and not able to offer any word(s) of comfort or recognition.  I don’t feel angry but I do feel perplexed and somewhat trivialized.  I don’t need a band or a note in the newspaper but I would like some eye contact, perhaps a hug, maybe a touch on the arm and some meaningful verbal recognition of my loss.  We all live on the same planet and share the same hopes and dreams, so why stand apart?  Why not build a bridge and let the other person know you care for them and what they are feeling at a dramatic junction in the time?  It isn’t rocket science but a basic human need to be recognized from time to time, and to understand that others care for us and our experiences.   I am so sorry for your loss and hope your memories will be will help get you through.

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For parents who have lost one, more or all of their babies, The Ottawa Citizen did the following interview with me:


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If you are looking for bereavement support for the loss of one, more or all your multiple -birth infants or children, are a bereaved grandparent or surviving co-multiple, there are two terrific Canadian sites to consider:

My own at http://www.jumelle.ca

and Canada’s only national support organization Multiple Births Canada’s Loss Support Registry at http://www.multiplebirthscanada.org

Your go-to places for bereavement support for understanding, resources, information and connection.

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