Men grieve too when their baby(ies) die. They just do it differently from women. Here are a few books I found specially for men. I am so sorry for your loss.
Men & Grief: A Guide for Men Surviving the Death of a Love One, by Carol Staudacher, New Harbinger Publications
When Men Grieve: Why Men Grive Differently & How You Can Help, by Elizabeth Levang, Fairview Press
Getting Back to Life When Grief Won’t Heal, by Phyllis Kosminsky, McGraw Hill
Posted in Books for Grieving Men, Uncategorized | Tagged grieving fathers, how to help men grieve, men and grief, men grieve differently from women, when fathers grieve, when men grieve | Leave a Comment »
When grieving the loss of a baby or babies, maybe reading is the last thing we feel like doing. In time, when things feel a little different, it may be helpful to have some titles to search out for comfort and connection. Here are some suggestions for your consideration when you have the need. I am so sorry for your loss:
Life Touches Life: A Mother’s Story of Stillbirth and Healing, by Lorraine Ash, Newsage Press
Life After Loss, by Bob Deits, Fisher Books
Forever Our Angels, by Hannah Stone, www.lulu.com
Remembering Our Angels: Personal Stories of Healing from a Pregnancy Loss, by Hannah Stone, http://www.lulu.com
When a Baby Dies: A Handbook for Healing and Helping, by Rana K. Limbo & Sara Rich Wheeler, RTS Bereavement Services
Miscarriage, Women Sharing from the Heart, by Marie Allen & Shelly Marks, John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby, by Deborah L. Davis, Fulcrum Publishing
The Worst Loss: How Families Heal from the Death of a Child, by Barbara D. Rosof, Henry Holt & Co.
Posted in Books for early loss, Uncategorized | Tagged books on loss, born still, Forever Angels, infant loss, life after loss of a baby, loss of a baby, loss of a triplet, loss of a twin, loss of multiples, loss of twins, miscarriage, stillbirth, the worst loss | Leave a Comment »
While there is a lot of literature available to support bereaved parents, there is less so for the survivors of multiple-birth and/or who lose their co-multiple later in life. Multiples come into the world at the same time, but there is no guarantee they will leave it at the same time. What challenges do survivors face? Below I have shared some of the existing books which I think are very supportive. If I have missed any that you think should be added to this list, please let me know.
Twin Loss: A Book for Survivor Twins, by Raymond William Brandt. Dr. Brandt lost his twin brother when they were 20 years old. Dr. Brandt began the American organization, Twinless Twins, to support surviving co-multiples, parents, grandparents, healthcare professionals, bereavement counsellors and anyone else needing to learn about the unique twin relationship and the challenges when one dies. Twinless Twins can be reached at http://www.twinlesstwins.org
The End of The Twins: A Memoir of Losing a Brother, by Saul Diskin. Saul lost his twin brother to cancer later in their lives.
Who Moved the Sun?: A Twin Remembers, by Ron McKenzie. Ron lost his twin brother, Don when they were 62 years old.
The Lone Twin: Understanding Twin Bereavement and Loss, by Joan Woodward. Joan lost her twin sister when they were three years old. In this book, Joan explores not only what her loss means to her, but after working in the multiple-birth field for several years and learning about multiples’ connections, Joan prepared this important and eye-opening book. This is a must-read book for understanding and comprehension of what it means to lose a co-multiple at any point in life and what the survivor has to face moving on alone.
Living Without Your Twin, by Betty Jean Case. Betty is a twin, had twin brothers and twin grandchildren. In this book, Betty explores loss of a twin through death, suicide, murder, adoption and estrangement. She discusses what it means to lose a twin, separation and reuniting and its challenges.
The Survivor, by Lynne Schulz. Lynne’s first book was The Diary. Lynne had boy/girl twins and her daughter, Meghan, did not survive. Lynne addresses the challenges of raising a survivor of multiple-birth plus some of the challenges that parents can expect to have to face as their survivor navigates their lives without their womb-mate. Lynne also discusses the challenges for her, as a parent, of loving and bringing up her son while knowing there should have been two children throughout the same journey.
Posted in Books for Surviving Co-Multiples, Uncategorized | Tagged books for loss of a twin, Books for Surviving Co-Multiples, books for surviving triplets, books for surviving twins, end of twins, living without my twin, lone twin, loss in the womb, loss of a multiple, loss of my triplet, loss of my twin, surviving multiple, twinless twins | Leave a Comment »
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”
— Anne Sullivan
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I lost my triplets at 23 weeks, two girls and one boy who lived 7 days. I’m 40. Is it possible to fall pregnant again with multiples?
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your wee babies. I cannot imagine how it all must feel. It is possible to get pregnant again, but it cannot be predicted with any accuracy if the pregnancy would be with multiples. Older woman do tend to “drop” more eggs in their cycles in their latter years as their bodies gear up for menopause, so it is possible but not definite.
I enclose peace, comfort and blessings,
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged conceiving multiples after loss, conceiving multiples again, conceiving triplets again, conceiving twins again, pregnant with multiples, pregnant with twins | Leave a Comment »
My twin sister passed away 3 weeks ago and I am having such a hard time with her death. Can you suggest anything that may help me? My heart is broken, I don’t want to do anything but stay at home. I would appreciate any help you can give me. Thanks!
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Of course you are having a hard time. Your sister’s death was only 3 weeks ago. We are not made to bounce right back in a short period after a loved one’s death. Please don’t expect too much from yourself. There is a group in the U.S. entitled Twinless Twins and you might find some solace in connecting with them. Once again, don’t expect to feel better immediately. Be gentle with yourself, give yourself time and expect to have highs and lows as you try to come to terms with losing this special person in your life. A grief counsellor who understands the unique twin bond may also be helpful. Your doctor may be able to refer you to someone in your area. Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss.
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged living without my twin, loss of twin sister, Multiple Birth Loss, surviving co-multiple, surviving twin, surviving twin loss, twin loss | Leave a Comment »
Should we remember the deceased on their Birth Day or their Death Day? Maybe both days? If the reader looks at the obits in the newspaper, there are many memorials on the loved one’s Death Day. Less memorials for their Birth Day. Is it better, or easier, to remember one or the other?
For myself, I like to focus on the Birth Day. The day my loved one was born, came into the world, added to the goings on, even if it was only for a short time. My dear, dear triplet friend died one week before her 60th Birth Day even though she fought hard to stay longer. I don’t want to remember her struggles, pain, diagnosis, wasting away, so focusing and celebrating her life on her Birth Day is an easy decision. I remember our fun, books we read and shared, long contemplations of how to improve the world and teach everyone to get along. Given enough time, I know we would have solved many of the world’s problems. LOL She was funny, intelligent, honest, saw the bright side and a good and true friend. I miss her frequently, but not on her Birth Day when I celebrate again with her, usually in my head. Because of her Birth Day, we eventually became friends for over 38 years. Awesome sauce!
There is no right or wrong day to remember those who should have been able to stay longer. As long as you feel good about your choice, then that is day that it is best to remember. We can’t go wrong when we remember our loved ones, maybe on any day of the year.
Best wishes to you and I am so sorry for your loss(es).
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Birth Day, Death Day, memorial, triplet death, twin death | Leave a Comment »